Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Heavy Heart

I come to you with a heavy heart tonight realizing that a week from tomorrow I head home.  Seriously, I cry every time I think about it.  Two years ago, I remember laying in my bed crying struggling with what God wanted with my life.  I have always wanted to be a nurse, but also have a huge passion for orphans and a special place in my heart for Guatemala.  I prayed and prayed and got into St. Francis knowing that if God wanted me to use nursing somehow in missions, I could but that I should go ahead and finish school.  Now I'm back in the place I was a few years ago, but wanting so much more to just quit everything and move here.  I love everything about it and if my family would promise to come visit frequently, I would be game for dropping everything.  Pretty much I'm jealous of my dear friend Desi and her ability to be able to consistently be with these kids and serve in areas of Guatemala that are hurting and broken.  Sunday morning, in our 3 hour Spanish church service, I was kind of reading around in my Bible and came across Psalm 32: 8-11 saying, "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.  Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you.  Many are the woes of the wicked, but the Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him.  Rejoice in the Lord and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart!"  This was an encouraging reminder to trust Him with everything.  God has opened my eyes to so much down here.  There are so many hurt people down many families who are broken with alcoholic fathers, so many people striving to make as much as $1.50/day just to be able to get some many people who have not one bit of self many kids with physical and sexual abuse issues...and so many precious little kids with no one to call their mommy or daddy.  But we know that Christ knows each and every one of these people's one is faceless to Him.  It is up to us to reach out to these people and share the face of Jesus to the broken.  Many of you may be in the same boat I am....embracing your own individual, unpaved roads....but as we are each encountering what it means to be the face of Christ in this world of pain, we need to remember that it all starts with compassion and loving the person in front of you or stopping to say hello to someone.  I have no clue where God may lead me....I could end up in blm, IL being a baby nurse for the rest of my life or I maybe i could end up in a foreign country working with His beautiful children...but I know I will never forget this amazing opportunity God has blessed me with by being down here.  It's going to be a challenge going home and trying to show what it means to be His love in my everyday life.  It definitely won't be easy.  But my challenge for you tonight is to look at your life and see what you can do in order to be more like the face of Jesus?

Tomorrow is another day at the dump...even thought this will be my 4th week in a row going here, I will never be prepared enough for the poverty that is everywhere around.  Last week the kids were thrilled with a granola bar.  This week the group put more money in to do a pinata party with these kids as will probably be the first pinata party these kids have ever had and I cannot wait to see their little faces as they take part in it!

Love from Guat,


  1. Praying for you sweet friend. I love you! xoxo L

  2. Kaley,
    My heart goes out to you. God will lead you down the right path and as long as you are His faithful servant he will continue to bless you. You have all the right tools already in place, you just need to be instructed what to do with them. Your nursing education will be so valuable to so many people whether you are in Blm or across the globe. Not only can you help a person who is hurting physically but you have the power to help a person who is also hurting spiritually. Keep your chin up and your eyes on Him, be patient and prayerful, and your answers will come. I feel so blessed that you have crossed my path in life, I can only imagine what all of these children that you are touching feel.

  3. God knows your heart and He will supply your every need as you wait upon Him and His direction for your life. Keep praying and trusting Him - He will guide your path. You are loved! Miss Di

  4. Kaley,

    Although I cannot wait for you to come home, I am sad that you have to leave Guatemala. The feeling of coming home after being on a missions trip is all to real to me after reading this post. It's hard to come home and sleep in my big, warm, comfy bed knowing that the kids I just left are most likely sleeping in the dirt and on the ground. I'm so excited for what God has in store for you and the plans he has to use you for His good. After all of your hard work and passion, you are going to be blessed beyond belief and I'm just so pumped for you!!!! Soak up every moment of this last week and kiss as many babies as you can! Can't wait to hear all the stories in person. I love you.


  5. Kaley,
    God is so great. I know this is a hard spot for you. But be patient my dear. The amazing thing is God already knows what His plans are for you. He has had your entire life planned out when you were just a star in the sky. Not only will your life forever be changed by this experience, but the lives of those who you have touched while you've been down there. I know even our hearts back here will be, are being changed, as we share with you in the different things you are learning down there. You are an amazing woman of God, and I am so proud of you. God has called us to something so much greater than the lives we thought we had planned out, and I am so excited to live that out with you this next year! Be excited for the next chapter God has for your life. I love you so very much!

  6. Kaley,
    I want you to know how much my heart is feeling for you as you think of leaving. God has an incredible path for you and I pray you can continue to trust Him and follow Him. We are so thankful for your willingness to go and serve the precious people of Guatemala. Take all you can in this next week and know we are all excited to have you back home. You little Guatasisters are missing you!!!!! Love you! Mom

  7. Kaley,
    What a joy it was for our family to get to know you the week that we spent at Dorie's Promise. You, Erin, Desi and Joel were an inspiration to the 4 of us. As hard as it is for you to come back and finish your nursing degree, think about how valuable it would be to you if indeed God did call you to come back to Guatemala. I'm sorry that we didn't get to meet your family. They did an awesome job raising you! God's timing is not often our timing but I know He has big plans for you!!
    God bless,

  8. I will be praying for you my sweet Kaley. God is faithful and He will supply your every need!

  9. My dear sister. Chris and I think about you often. I miss you so very much, and am so happy to so transparently see your beautiful heart for Him.

    I am so proud of you. I can't say it enough. You are an inspiration to us all. He will lead your ways, continue to follow Him!!!!!

    xoxo K