I come to you with a heavy heart tonight realizing that a week from tomorrow I head home. Seriously, I cry every time I think about it. Two years ago, I remember laying in my bed crying struggling with what God wanted with my life. I have always wanted to be a nurse, but also have a huge passion for orphans and a special place in my heart for Guatemala. I prayed and prayed and got into St. Francis knowing that if God wanted me to use nursing somehow in missions, I could but that I should go ahead and finish school. Now I'm back in the place I was a few years ago, but wanting so much more to just quit everything and move here. I love everything about it and if my family would promise to come visit frequently, I would be game for dropping everything. Pretty much I'm jealous of my dear friend Desi and her ability to be able to consistently be with these kids and serve in areas of Guatemala that are hurting and broken. Sunday morning, in our 3 hour Spanish church service, I was kind of reading around in my Bible and came across Psalm 32: 8-11 saying, "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you. Many are the woes of the wicked, but the Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him. Rejoice in the Lord and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart!" This was an encouraging reminder to trust Him with everything. God has opened my eyes to so much down here. There are so many hurt people down here...so many families who are broken with alcoholic fathers, so many people striving to make as much as $1.50/day just to be able to get some food....so many people who have not one bit of self esteem...so many kids with physical and sexual abuse issues...and so many precious little kids with no one to call their mommy or daddy. But we know that Christ knows each and every one of these people's names...no one is faceless to Him. It is up to us to reach out to these people and share the face of Jesus to the broken. Many of you may be in the same boat I am....embracing your own individual, unpaved roads....but as we are each encountering what it means to be the face of Christ in this world of pain, we need to remember that it all starts with compassion and loving the person in front of you or stopping to say hello to someone. I have no clue where God may lead me....I could end up in blm, IL being a baby nurse for the rest of my life or I maybe i could end up in a foreign country working with His beautiful children...but I know I will never forget this amazing opportunity God has blessed me with by being down here. It's going to be a challenge going home and trying to show what it means to be His love in my everyday life. It definitely won't be easy. But my challenge for you tonight is to look at your life and see what you can do in order to be more like the face of Jesus?
Tomorrow is another day at the dump...even thought this will be my 4th week in a row going here, I will never be prepared enough for the poverty that is everywhere around. Last week the kids were thrilled with a granola bar. This week the group put more money in to do a pinata party with these kids as well....it will probably be the first pinata party these kids have ever had and I cannot wait to see their little faces as they take part in it!
Love from Guat,